Volunteer Voices

Fellowship Awardees; Samantha Goltzer & Samantha Joustra - Westport, CT

Staples High School Graduating Class 2007

I’ve been a member of Beth Israel of Westport/Norwalk, for five years and a couple of years ago Freida Hecht introduced me to the new and fledgling Circle of Friends program. I called my friend Sam and asked if she would be interested in it, too. Now, two and a half years later, Sam and I stand before you to talk about our experiences with our new best friend Brian. When we tell people of our community service, the reaction we always get is, “Oh, that’ll look great for college!” That wasn’t what we were thinking about going into this program, and that hasn’t changed over the past two years.

The “Home with Friends” part of the program has allowed us to spend a little bit of time each week with Brian. We make the twenty minute drive to Brain’s house each Sunday to be greeted with an enthusiastic smile and a hug. But we barely have time for long greetings before Brian leads to us the playroom. Whether it’s a game of Cariboo or a music session with drums and the keyboard, Brian keeps us busy. He knows exactly what he wants to do and shows us eagerly. If we get lucky with the weather, we can almost always be found outside on the swing set or on the trampoline. Some games have come and go but that trampoline has remained a staple of our time together since the first day Sam and I met Brian.

Over the past two and a half years, Sam and I have been able to watch Brian grow and progress in his learning in incredible, meaningful ways. He recognizes us as soon as he sees us, and he knows his identification cards better than we do! He even says “hi” and “bye” to us, which really makes us feel great. Being with Brian isn’t a duty or a responsibility; it’s something we look forward to each and every week.

The other part of this program is the monthly Sunday Circle and Teen Scene where we get to interact with special friends we may not have had the chance to meet otherwise. We do arts and crafts, music, sports, and my personal favorite, snack time. It’s incredible to see how our friends not only help us learn, but they help each other. Last week we played a group game of volleyball and I was truly blown away by the teamwork and respect each child displayed. It’s true that we volunteers have as much to learn, if not more, from our friends as they do from us. Sam and I are lucky that we get to form a personal bond with Brian while getting to know other unique, amazing personalities. Each friend brings something special to the table.

As we move on from this chapter of our lives to the next, it’s impossible to avoid thinking about how much this opportunity has shaped our characters and made us better people. Circle of Friends teaches acceptance, selflessness, and giving the greatest gift of all—friendship.

Volunteer Voices

Fellowship Award; Laura Kassen, Westport, CT
Staples High School Graduate 2008

I began participating in Circle of Friends four years ago after a phone call from Frieda Hecht. She told me about this new organization she was starting, one to match student volunteers with children having special needs-- and I told her I would like to volunteer.

A few weeks later, I had my first visit with Becky. I think we were both nervous about meeting one another. I was 14 at the time, and Becky was 9. I’m a pretty reserved person, and I wasn’t sure what our common ground would be—but the first visit went all right. After a few more visits we grew more comfortable with each other’s company. I came to know what Becky liked to do, and what she didn’t like to do. I remember drawing pictures of flowers on a cold day in December with Becky and talking about how we wished it were warmer out—and then we could talk about all the things we wished for. Some activities we enjoyed doing were playing dress up, reading, dancing, singing and playing with Becky’s dolls. We especially liked to cook or bake together—to cooperate on a project and to get it done brought us both a lot of satisfaction.

Being able to become friends with Becky has been a very rewarding experience for both of us. After my weekly visits I would always reflect on our time together. We have a very special relationship and it is sometimes difficult to find words to describe what Circle of Friends and Becky have given me. Becky has taught me many things that not many people my age can relate to. I admire so many of her qualities and she is truly an amazing daughter, sister and friend.

I would like to congratulate the other volunteers for all their hard work, I know that sometimes it can be difficult, but in the end the experience is valuable beyond words.

I’d also like to thank Frieda for all her hard work. She is an inspiration and I think she also deserves to be recognized this evening.

Charity begins at home. It’s not what you do in life… it’s what you do for others.

Andrea Greenberg, Westport, CT

Hi, I’m Andrea Greenberg and I’d like to bring another perspective to Circle of Friends as a mother of two teenage boys who have volunteered in the program over the past 3 years.

“Charity begins at home.” “It’s not what you do in life….. it’s what you do for others.”

These are philosophies that I have taught to my children. When I was first approached by Freida to see if my boys were interested in volunteering I immediately thought “sure, I think my boys could definitely help out with your program. I think they would enjoy helping other children in the community with special needs.”

I felt that in a community where children’s lives are so privileged and center primarily around them that it would be a good idea to have them think about and help out someone else.

It has resulted in so much more. Instead of what they thought would be helping out a less fortunate child they have found out how much they have really helped themselves. They have gained an appreciation of life as a teenager that they would never have realized without this program. Things that they had always taken for granted before was no longer the case. They now take a moment before they ever complain about school, friends, or not being good at something.

Unlike other activities when they say “Do I have to go?” “Can I skip just this week?” They never question going. They understand how important it is when their special friend, who cannot even speak, waits for them by the door and smiles from ear to ear when he sees them. They appreciate how tough it is for Brian every single day of his life. They would never think of disappointing him. There is no amount of education that could ever teach my children what they have learned through this program.

I am so proud to be a member in this Jewish community because of what Jewish organizations have accomplished. Funding for this organization would not solely benefit the special needs children but the teen volunteers who participate in it. I think you’ll agree that this organization is one that the Jewish community would be proud to call their own!!

What Is The Circle of Friends?

Last Sunday I drove deep into the woods of Fairfield County to meet two new volunteers at their "Home With Friends" family. As I drove up the drive way I saw the boys were already engaged in a basketball game with their special friend and I was awed by the beautiful sight. Had my car not been seen I would of just sat there for a while watching, because it was so moving. So, I alighted from my car and as I approached,"Joey" (not his real name) came right up to me and hugged me. I stood there with my eyes downcast because I did not want the family to see my tears during that very emotional moment. I remembered the first time I met him two years ago and tried to talk to him and engage him and he just stood there.....

So what is The Circle of Friends? I really don't know how to describe it any other way except to say it's that moment when you look at someone and can not only feel their special soul.... but you can actually touch it.

As we open this Circle of Friends Blog, I invite all of you who are involved in The Circle of Friends to share and post your thoughts and experiences.

Sincerely, Freida Hecht