Sami Schwaeber, Address; High School Senior Fellowship Awardee Circle of Friends Evening of Recognition May 20, 2012

It was incredibly hard to start this speech. There is so much I want to say that would never be able to fit on paper. It is difficult to formulate words for such a special and unique experience like the one I have had. I will begin with the words that started my journey in the Circle of Friends. “Circle of Friends allows us to look at a person and see their soul. It allows us to look at an individual and feel their soul. And if we are lucky, very, very lucky, we might even get to touch that soul,” Freida Hecht, director of Circle of Friends. When I first joined Circle of Friends, in 2007, I shamefully did not believe her words. It didn’t seem possible to me that I could spend hours with kids with special needs and somehow not see their disabilities. I wanted to provide friendship to these kids, but I wasn’t sure I would be able to forget that they do not think, behave, or interact like I do. They are different and no matter what I did, I would always be able to see that…or so I thought. A year after I joined Circle of Friends, I went to High School. Some parents, who had intellectually disabled children, told the Special Ed. teacher that I was coming up to High School. When I went to speak to my guidance counselor about how I could get involved with special needs students he informed me that the teachers were willing to allow me into their classrooms for an Independent Study. Here, I would be able to teach and reach these kids. My Independent Study class was beyond my favorite class. I would go in during my free periods to say hi to the students, and would go home and think of projects to do with them as well. I desperately searched for them in the lunchroom to make sure they weren’t alone. However, in the back of my mind, I always remembered Freida’s words. How could I forget that Tommy rode in a wheelchair, or Elizabeth repeated over and over again, or Rachel pulled her hair when she was angry? There really was no way to see their soul. By the end of my first year in my Independent Study, I had gotten to know one girl very well. Her communication was quite clear, however, you could visually see her challenges. She walked at an extremely slow pace and had sudden jerking in her neck that caused a lot of kids to stare at her. In the beginning of the year I noticed it right away. However, as the year went on, I started noticing other things such as her artwork, her singing voice, and her comedic personality. Towards the middle of the year, despite her intellectual disabilities, she had taught me how to balance a checkbook. Soon enough, the end of the year approached, and she was graduating. I made her a goodbye bracelet for her to always remember me. I went up and down the school hallways looking for her so I could give her the gift. After five minutes I stopped one of my friends and asked if she knew where Alexandra was. Her response was, “oh, is she blonde?” I answered, “Yes.” She then asked, “Does she have a twitch?” Taken back I replied, “No, I guess that is someone else,” and continued walking. A couple steps later I ran into another friend. I asked her if she had seen Alexandra anywhere. Her response was, “from the Special Ed. Room?” I gave a long pause and finally responded with, “Yes.” She then asked, “The one who moves her neck a lot?” I, honestly, hadn’t seen her twitch since the beginning of the year. I slowly walked back to the special ed room questioning myself on how it is possible that I could no longer see her twitch, yet everybody else did. I questioned myself on how it was possible that I had forgotten that she was “from” the Special Ed. room. I completely forgot that she walked slowly, and jerked her neck, and hunched over. All I could remember was her beautiful blonde hair, her inspiring art work, and her ability to make me laugh. She had become one of my closest friends that year. After I gave her the gift, I gave her an enormous hug. She was off to her own new school. She apologized that she hadn’t gotten me a gift. However, I assured her that she did. I got to touch her soul. I saw the real Alexandra. All I had to do was be her friend, and she gave me the best gift of all. That is where it all started. I have spent a beautiful five years in this organization. I have spent an absolutely amazing five years with my special friend. I do not have the words to describe what she means to me. All I know, is she will be at my wedding, she will be over my house when I am an adult, and she will always be one of my closest friends. Forever. I see no disabilities in my special friend. However, to me, she will always be the most unique because she gave me what I needed the most all throughout high school. Loyalty, compassion, and love. It was evident how much I meant to her when she, herself, wrote me a card at camp reading: I miss you so much, you are my best friend in the world”. She had no help writing this card. She wrote it with her own words and her own love. Our friendship is pure and real. Circle of Friends was about discovering “value” to me. There is SO much importance and worth stored inside these kids, and without Circle of Friends, I believe a lot of us would forget to look at that value. And, until these humans are valued, our school systems will continue to segregate, and our lunch rooms will be divided between who is different and who is “normal”. Society will continue to focus on what is different. It is about value. Circle of Friends has not only taught me how to find value in my special friends, but also in my peers. Thank you so much to the L. family for allowing Lesley and me over every weekend. We apologize if we ever got any nail polish on the furniture or brought any sand in the house from the beach. I love you guys. Thank you Freida and Susan for being the biggest role models. I will take the lessons you have taught me and bring them with me throughout all my adventures as a Special Education teacher.